Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
