Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
