a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
