I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
