I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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