i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
