ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
