you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't put those talents on a resume
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
do nipples grow back?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
