Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We don't watch enough power rangers
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
