I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
