She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
