do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
