how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Randomize
