I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
