Yo dont text me then not text me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
