i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if only i could text you this smell
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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