this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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