can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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