Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
