lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
