Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
