I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
