I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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