never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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