If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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