And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
