I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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