Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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