i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
