When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
