When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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