he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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