i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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