i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
