her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
