so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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