so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Blood and glitter go together right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
