I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
