ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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