Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
