Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
