3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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