I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
