So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
