oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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