would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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