Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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