Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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