If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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