I must be too annoying 4 u.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
