And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it penis luge time yet?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
