things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
